In his closing words on Italy, Will Durant tells the story of the scholar Winckelmann, one of the apostles of neoclassicism. Winckelmann so loved the art of classical Greece that he converted to Roman Catholicism to gain access to the art treasures of the Vatican. Before that, in Germany, he restricted himself to four hours of sleep a night, so that he could find eight hours in a day for classical studies, in addition to the time he had to devote to his poor living as a teacher. Doubtless, he also had to walk uphill both ways to the school.
Winckelmann’s conversion to Catholicism was looked upon with some shock by his contemporaries, but Goethe defended him on the grounds that to someone as immersed in classical culture as Winckelmann, the distinctions between modern sects of Christianity were irrelevant.
As I read it, I found the whole anecdote quite amusing, and wondered if anyone today could so lose himself that he could not understand contemporary culture. Unexpectedly, the answer came to me while listening to Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie”. Today’s Winckelmann is my favorite whipping boy, the modern, postmodernist liberal yuppy.
“Love the Way You Lie”, you see, is modern romantic or baroque art. It is an apostrophe to feeling. Its images and metaphors don’t necessarily stream together perfectly, and the story is told just in strokes, but the feeling that courses through the piece is obvious. The excess in the closing sentiment of the song is clear: “[if] she ever tries to f—-n’ leave again, I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.”
Both Eminem and Rihanna, the artists, are victims of broken relationships. In Rihanna’s case, domestic violence is an explicit element of the collapse, while in Eminem’s case we can only speculate. We are thus secure in the knowledge that the song’s sentiment is deeply felt. But so was Britney Spears’s “Lucky”, or Stefani Germanotta’s “The Fame”, and these were egocentric odes of garbage. For feeling to matter, it must be feeling we could conceivably relate to, or at least appreciate. Fortunately (or not), in a country with skyrocketing divorce rates, domestic violence and the breakdown of relationships are subjects a huge proportion of Americans can deeply appreciate. The accuracy is Eminem’s description of a gasping relationship is brilliant:
“Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, the same routine
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is, you’re the same as me
But when it comes to love, you’re just as blinded.”
But there is a class that cannot even see the accuracy, cannot recognize the feeling. It is the class of reason, the modern, upwardly mobile young liberals. Their stable relationships start in college or right after, and are destined to last forever. What disagreements, what conflicts, can there be between identical twins? Besides, having a stable relationship is the responsible, the reasonable thing to do. The yuppy deprecates Eminem’s baroque and Katy Perry’s rococo with equal sniffs: more Feist, please, or better yet, some NPR. Indeed, I have heard some yuppies assert that their entire lives, nay their every actions are driven by reason. These are indeed Winckelmanns adrift in a world of Christians, and it is their devotion to reason that renders them unable to appreciate modern art. Fortunately, the working class has more taste, and Eminem is currently at the top of the charts.
The first danger of reason is its ability to deceive. One might insinuate that Winckelmann’s appreciation for classical art was sublimated erotic desire, for the male form that classical Greece so glorified was also the object of Winckelmann’s own predilections. Perhaps no Winckelmann is so completely the servant of reason as he believes.
Edit: I can’t believe I had to think twice about the Eminem romantic vs. baroque issue. Consider the first line of “Love the Way You Lie”: “I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like…” followed by three lines of simile and metaphor. Romantic, duh.
Posted by Catiline 


